i love trees

be still my heart.  LOVE this.  www.paulferney.com

my sweet little artist

I love to watch Chickie draw.  When she draws herself, princesses, mermaids, or herself and her friends as princesses or mermaids, she always draws the dress (or fin) first.  We have several unfinished pictures with a fin or dress and no body.  I should have known by her strong individual sense of style that she would be a budding fashionista!

Bedtime Beethoven LIVE

Have I mentioned before that Olivia LOVES classical music?  When she was a baby my great aunt Jean got her a set of bedtime music Cd's.  My favorite was Bedtime Beethoven.  She has been listening to it every night for almost 6 years now.   Whenever I dare listen to the radio, flipping through the stations thinking, "Why bother!"  She yells..."Wait!  Go back!"  It's always to the classical station.
Thursday night our local symphony orchestra came to our little town's amphitheater and gave a free concert.  Never mind the rain!  Never mind staying out past bedtime!  Did I actually say that?!!  Yes! Bedtime is a big deal for me  because my kids are monsters without adequate sleep.  BUT, I figured it was worth it for this kind of a cultural experience.  Being outside was a great way for us to be able to enjoy the music.  Not having to worry about getting all dressed up and sit still.  No way I could have normally taken Bentley to something like this if it was indoors.
It was great fun!  A little wet, a little tired, a little bit more cultured!
Speaking of really great free things;  we made these fun kitties from a free pattern at wee wonderfuls.
MEOW!  I hope everyone had a great, safe weekend.

Do I subconsciously like like yellow?

Today, as I was sitting at the kitchen table with Chickie eating a consolatory ice cream cone, as is our custom after surviving a visit to the doctor, I notice a little yellow.  The door of our little FHE chart is painted yellow.  How odd, I thought.  Since yellow is not usually my top pick.  And the color of the door to our symbolic home should be somewhat uh...symbolic.  Although as I type this I remember I went through a yellow door faze. 

At any rate, I went through the house counting yellow things.  Oddly enough, I was wearing my one yellow shirt, and each of us has one in our closet.  
A random yellow banana magnet on the fridge.  This probably falls under the toy category and just for the record I did not count yellow toys.  We have many many yellow duck/chick type toys.  
There are a few yellow books in my bookcase.  There are my yellow kitchen gloves, although, had there been a choice at the time, I would have opted for any other color.  
Weirdest of all I  painted myself wearing a yellow shirt in this huge purple painting.  Probably to counteract the purple-ness of the rest of it.

In spin class this morning our instructor had us guess the base color to the names of the new crayola crayons.  Does that make sense?  She said, "happily ever after"  I answered, "blue"  therefore I didn't have to sprint with the rest of the class.  

When I was little I chose blue as my favorite color.  My reasoning was not that I liked it best, but I felt sorry for it because all the other girls chose pink or purple.  Who feels sorry for a color?  That should have been my first clue that I am waay to sensitive for my own good.  I guess it comes in handy sometimes.  Others, not so much.  

Although, now I think blue genuinely is my favorite color.  Especially green-y/turquoise-y shades of blue.  

Is there no point to this post?  Ah, yes.  Back to the doctor.  Poor Chickie...it's allergies!!  When you think of allergies don't you just think:  YELLOW.

How do you feel about yellow?  And how do you think I feel about yellow?  I'm so confused!

today...

We were total city girls.  First a trip to the KMA, followed by downtown shopping, and a little self assigned art project of our own!

I'm thankful for a day with my sister!

coming clean and going without a pattern

Does anyone else have a major case for spring cleaning?  I have been organizing everything. Thank goodness.  Some closets were getting dangerous! But it's not only physically cleaning that I feel myself driven to do.  I feel the need to come clean about a few other things.  And since this is just ranting and revealing, I am going to post some pics of the presents I talked about here just for prettiness.  These projects are from this book.  It's nice having a pattern, knowing that you have the materials you need, the steps you need to take, and a pretty picture of what it will look like in the end.  But more on that later.

My last post was a little odd.  If I don't blog for a while I feel the need to prove that I have indeed been doing something. So I list it all.  

And the thought just occurred to me that maybe it's a bad idea to post pictures of other people's children without asking. I usually feel free to talk about anything I've done with Mandee because it's all her fault I'm blogging in the first place. And she has a blog of her own.  So beware friends, if you have a blog you are fair game! Hmmm, is there a blogging ettiquet class out there? If so I need to take it.

Well, at least some of this is about to stop anyway.  One little last post of "look, I promise I've been busy."  And then we can all go on under the assumption that if I'm not posting, it's not because I'm lazy but the exact opposite. 

I think I may be the only person who uses blogging as my own personal "do something" police.  I'm one of those people who really, really loved school. I loved having projects with rules, deadlines, and of course, the almighty grade. 

 I have had issues with being productive in the world ruled by myself.  Until now. Now I have all of you to report to.  I'll admit that it is a little confusing at times. Not really knowing who my audience is. It's mostly friends and family who really don't care about what I'm making.  But I secretly aspire to the likes of other craft blogs.  At the same time, I really like to talk about church and other personal things like ballroom dancing and random antics about my friends looking like cartoon characters.  These subjects may annoy serious artsy craftsy types. So I guess my best bet is just to let myself be my most important audience.  Isn't that always true?  Aren't we the ones who ultimately give ourselves our own grade.  And aren't we probably our own most critical judge?

And while I'm at it I want to come clean about something else that I have hinted about before.  I finally have a serious art goal again that I'm very excited about.  All year I have been working on designing my own fabric line!  It is so fun. I'm really enjoying it. I've been taking it relatively slow, working two hours 6 days a week.  But now I've got what I think are my final drawings and I'm working on color and fretting about doing repeats.  Today I talked to a real live human being from a company that I'm interested in working with.  I wanted to get a clearer idea of what point I need to get my work to in order to send it in for consideration.  That alone made me very exited. At this point I'm ready to work a little more and push just a teensy bit harder.  This means that I probably won't have a lot of evening time left for my little sewing projects for the next little bit. Hence, less reporting, but more working.  

This past week I have been making color wheels out the wa-zoo. If that's even a thing.  It made me feel like I was bettering my paint mixing skills, but at this point I'm really anxious just to dig in deeper regardless of my current skill set. I want to get Adobe Photoshop and a good textile book to go with it.  Neither of which come cheap.  And I'm anti-credit card debt, so I'm considering a yard sale. Last year we cleaned house! So to speak.  But we did have a much better location and all that stuff from our old dance studio.  In retrospect we probably sold things for too cheap.  I keep thinking, maybe I could sell hotdogs, and pincushions, and try to convince my whole neighborhood to do it, too.  But maybe that's a bit much.  I don't want to get distracted by things that seem like they are helping with my goal, but are in reality doing the opposite.  It is difficult not having "the rules" because there are none for this.  It's difficult not having anyone with experience to talk to.  It's a little scary not having a pattern, because when I don't have a pattern things turn out a little iffy.  See here and here.  But I guess when I think about it do things with out a pattern quite often.

But I cannot tell you how exciting it is to have drawings on my desk right now with post it's stuck to them.  I never take my artwork to this level of completion. I finish a painting and there are parts that didn't turn out so well. But my usual reaction would be, "Oh well, at least it's done!"  So it's very exciting to think I am going to work and work and work on these 15 or so drawings until they are perfect. And then after that I'm going to do them again in a few more colors!  In all honesty. I feel like myself again. I love having a big creative goal. I love being a mom and I don't want to ignore my kids. But I need this too. And luckily, there is time for both of these in my life. Just less down time is all.  But it's worth the sacrifice!

hmmm, all this talk about cleaning reminds me of this and this and this. Who was I kidding we all know I love to clean.  (I just happen to equally love making a mess!)  Right now I'm doing a little of both.  That's why unchartered territories are so exciting.  I'm thankful for not having directions, but having a definite path. I'm thankful that this weekend is going to rock, spiritually speaking!

since you asked...

Thanks Mindy, for asking about the painting. It is one of two that I've done since college....That can't be right? Can it?  Oh, I guess it is right. That's sad really.  But here it is Chickie swinging in the park.

 

And while I'm at it, here is painting number two. Chickie with a huge hat and a huge floaty on her head at the beach.  Hmmm, those aren't the official titles.  
These are really bad pictures. My camera broke last week. So sad. I was slightly traumatized.  Before blogging I would have forgotten all about it.  But now I'm used to taking a million pictures everyday, just in case I may want to blog about it later.  So yesterday I ordered a new camera.  Yay!  Hopefully when it gets here we will notice much better picture quality.

Is there any felicity in the world superior to this?

That is to quote Sense and Sensibility the movie. I believe.

Did you ever have a day that reminded you why life was even worth living? Ahh, that was my day! It was fabuloso that's Spanish for fabulous (hehehe) from beginning to end!  

We danced! Finally after really truly emerging from said black hole and entering into the world of people again! And it went really well.  Which was a huge relief, because the last practice before the flu was HORRIBLE.  Then, after a lovely day of drawing and cleaning and playing I went to a school meeting for Chickie.  I almost started to cry, but I didn't.  That said, I'm SO excited for her to go to school.  It's kind of rough having a Nov. birthday and having to wait around so long to start school.  And then the glorious part.  I got THE dress!  

I tried to take a picture that would express the fun of wearing such an awesome thing.  Tried and failed really.  Here's a picture of me running down the stairs.  Luckily, I didn't trip on the ball.  But after several trips up and down I couldn't quite capture it's beauty in motion.
SO then I tried twirling.  That was fun, but I'm feeling a little dizzy now!  I am so so excited for Thursday!  I met my friend Papi at book club tonight and that is where the "transaction"  took place.  I called for a moment of silence before we got the dress out. SO So exciting!  And it was fun talking about Emily of New Moon and her passion for writing.  Someone asked me if I had anything like that, something that I absolutely could not keep myself from doing. My short answer would have to be no.  But I have realized that for me dancing and creating art of some sort have been the two themes my whole life that have really brought me joy.  They are the things that really add the flavor to life.  The past five years I have only had them in very small doses, because that's how I adjusted to motherhood. I really had a hard time trying to fit creativity into my life in as large a dose as I really need.  

I realized that this was a problem when I was spending more time watching dancing shows on TV than actually dancing. I knew that I should be doing the exact opposite.  So, we got rid of TV when we moved here in November. It has been really great.  I get so much more done of what I want to be doing.  And now I am spending more time dancing than watching other people do it.  I'm actually living my life the way I want it right now and that is such an amazing feeling!  Although, Chris bought bunny ears to watch the polls on Super Tuesday and I watched the Oscars Sunday night. The whole thing from beginning to end. And it was the highlight of my week I think.  But that's not hard considering it was the week of flu-y death.  

So, I pose the question to you..Do you have something you absolutely have to do. There really is no choice. You just have to do it?

Out! of the black hole

What a week of complete and total insanity. Misery, flu-y death.  I did feel like I was going to die for a few days and then felt only good enough to read.  Doesn't reading feel so completely and totally indulgent. Almost wicked, really. To be so consumed in a novel to completely ignore those around you.  It doesn't matter when everyone else is too sick to notice or care.  I guess.  I read Emily of New Moon in two days and I loved it so much I got the other two books from the library on the one day this week I dared to lurk out of my cave for supplies.  Then, I read Emily Climbs in nearly a day, but I was so tired I had to finish the last twenty or so pages this morning.  Finally, I felt better enough today that I had to contact everyone who thought I blew them off this week, do laundry, and make dinner.  But in between I couldn't help myself but to finish the last book, Emily's Quest.  It was a short one. But, urgh how insanely painful.  I just can't stand being tortured so. Really, has anyone read these books? They are by LM Montgomery. After the first two I definitely wanted to read her Anne of Green Gables series, but now I don't know.  The third book reminded me of Wuthering Heights.  I had a friend who wrote a song about Wuthering Heights and how she, "wanted the book to be (her) life."  So of course I had to read it. I felt completely and utterly tortured and never would want to be haunted by my own life like that. I wish I had read the last measly four pages first (of Emily's Quest) and then maybe I wouldn't have been so completely irked by the first 231!  I just couldn't relate I guess. This last one dealt with the romance of Emily's life and I could never let my pride get in the way of my own happiness. I'm too much of an open book, really in all matters.  And to go on completely miserable for years and years.  Without even trying to do anything about it.  I would much rather make a complete fool of myself and have no regrets. And that is what I've done, time and time again. 

But now that the spell of the last book has been broken I have a sudden surge of energy and I will have to venture out into the world tomorrow if I can at all help it! Please, let Bentley feel better tomorrow!  If only his mother wouldn't feed him popcorn and pickles for an after lunch snack.  OK, it was his own choosing. But I allowed it!

But I am thankful for the first two books. They painted such a happy picture of a girl with such a singular drive for her craft (which was writing);  well, it was absolutely inspiring.  I find myself with a strong urge to improve my vocabulary and I just can't help myself with all the italics.  But that's an inside joke between me and anyone else who has read Emily Climbs.  And today I finally found the clamp for my favorite lamp for my drawing desk and in the process I found a perfect little stretcher that really is aching for a fresh canvas and a lovely new painting. Hmmm, what to paint? I need just a little inspiration and hopefully it will strike soon. 

doing color wheel cartwheels

I decided that I need to work on my ability to mix my own colors.  So I got this great book about Color.  And I'm doing the exercises during Bentley's nap time.  Today Chickie and I made color wheels.  While I was measuring mine out, Chickie was doing her own.  She used the compass to make some really nice circles by herself and her own inner lines without a ruler.  She got bored of waiting while I measured mine out so she drew ghosts on the side of hers.  In the time it took me to do one very meticulous color wheel, She did two very captivating ones and a couple of other paintings to boot!

 

Today I'm thankful for sausage.  Seriously, don't know why I wanted it. But YUM. Sausage nachos.

another self portrait

It's a little scary how many pictures I've posted of myself lately.  I guess it is anotherselfportrait for a reason.... Well, I just tried to add a self portrait to the top...but I've got to go. I've got a hot date tonight.  So it'll just be a mess for a while.  I'm trying to decide if I should take off the Jane Austen quote and just call my blog another self portrait. 

Any Votes?

I'm thankful for grandparent babysitters today!!

artist me

I had a dream last night that artist me was lost and had several maps and was desperately trying to find her way...somewhere. Back to regular me perhaps. This blog is called another self portrait for a reason. There was a time when I felt like squidward with self portraits all over my house. I guess I was hoping other forms of art or self-expression would count as well. But I guess it's just not good enough for artist me and she is feeling desperately lost. Crafting is just so much more instant gratification. You can make a lot of things quickly. Paintings take longer. Paintings take hours at a time...which I don't have a lot of right now. Last Friday a man came to look at our house (it's for sale) and he was commenting on my art work. He said it reminded him of Alison Moffett's work...who I went to school with, and he had been the interim art director for a short while during that time. Anyway, to compare my work with hers is a gross overstatement...I wish. He was telling me that since graduating she has moved to Paris and become one of the 6 up and coming artists. So maybe that's where this dream came from, jealousy?

When I first was considering changing my major I was taking a walk around and peeking in studios. I came to hers and she was working on a huge rocket painting. There is no way I can really describe it. But it was cute. I was mesmerized. We talked for a while. And even through the years as her work evolved, it was really fantastic. Look and see for yourself here, here, and here. Mine never was. But maybe it can be if I keep working at it. I made great grades though, because I'm an excellent student. And intellectually I get it. Although, there is that special something missing from my work. But then again...isn't life supposed to flow. If it isn't really working in one area then doesn't that mean that you haven't quite nailed down where exactly you are supposed to be?

And then there is the wii. We have been playing Brain Academy. After you take a test it tells you what job you would do well at. I have gotten: Investor, Doctor, Meteorologist, Consultant, and finally Fortune Teller. Chris has gotten: Improve actor, musician, fashion stylist, and fortune teller. And his grade is so much higher than mine. I can't wait to take this game and play it with the rest of my family and see what everyone else gets. But if I plan my future according to the all powerful wii....then art is apparently not my strong suit.

Today, I'm thankful for finding a fun new blog to read. Thanks, Mandee.