Thursday, October 1, 2009

You just can't make stuff like this up!

Today I did something I'm not too proud of...but I'm blaming it on the cabin fever resulting from a week of solitary confinement due to Chickie's swineflu/strep combo. How's that for a long sentence?

So we're eating lunch. Bentley says, "Mommy, why is she naked?" I look out the sliding glass doors in front of our kitchen table and see a rather large woman collecting walnuts from under our tree. She is holding a grocery bag. If she had been wearing the bag it probably would have been more modest than what I was seeing. She was wearing what looked like a bra and panty set. And she was bending over. And over and over. The bra was too small and it had a hole in it. I shut my curtains to protect the innocent. I peeked out for a moment trying to solidify if what I was seeing was really and truly real. It was. I contemplated saying something, started to open the door. I stopped myself because I knew it wasn't going to come out very nicely.

At this point I should probably explain that we live in a condo with a big shared backyard. And this naked lady is one of my neighbors. We haven't officially been introduced.

I call my other neighbor and bid her to look out her window. We start laughing hysterically in disbelief. Annie points out that she probably thinks it's ok since she is wearing a sports bra and what might possibly be bikini bottoms. We discuss complaining to the homeowners association and decency laws in our town. We laugh some more and hang up.

I go to my fridge and open the door. I have the sudden thought flash through my mind. I failed the test. When I was a teen/twenty something I was obsessed with magazine quizzes. It all played out in my mind.

Question: Your unsightly neighbor decides to pick walnuts in a makeshift bikini in the fall in your backyard, you...

A. Explain that there are children present, and would she please wear some clothes. Offer her an extra grocery bag and bring her a fresh batch of pumpkin muffins to thank her for being such a great sport about the whole thing.
B. Shut your curtains and laugh it off, people are quirky.
C. Call a friend and laugh at your neighbor together. And blog about it later.
D. Take a video and post it on YouTube.
E. Call the police.

In my mind, when filling out the answers in the magazine, I would think I'd be person A. Maybe B would have been the best thing to do. But no. In actuality I chose C. I'm a terrible person. But in my defense... it was one of those moments so unbelievable that it really had to be shared.

So maybe my neighborhood is kinda worse than I thought it was. And I have never had one moments second thought about moving here. Everything has been really great. Except one thing. I miss living in a town where we can afford a really nice house. Kind of a lot.

I'm thankful for the weather today it was really nice...maybe a little too nice.

So seriously though! What would YOU have done? I really want to know.


andrea said...

at least i didn't think of option D until I was trying to come up with something worse than what I actually did for blogging purposes. :)

mindy said...

Probably a mix of B & C -- shut the curtains and then blogged about it later. :o) I don't think you are a terrible person, though. It's hard to know how to handle bizarre unexpected situations.

mandy said...

Yeah- I would've had a B & C combo. But, then, I laugh at pretty much everything. I don't think you failed.

Heather said...

I would have definately done C too! Probably would have called you as a matter of fact!! :) Sometimes you have to sit back and say..."really??" and then call your friend and laugh!!haha

One Happy Family said...

I'd close the curtain too and explain to the kids that she must not know better. After I dismissed the kids I would call my husband on the phone and say you will not believe what is going on. Perhaps taking a picture for proof what be appropriate too. Who knows?

Merrida said...

hahahaha! I'm going with the same answer as "one happy family". that's too funny andrea!

Stacey said...

That is too funny! I would have definately called Richard to tell him, and probably taken a sneaky photo with my camera phone. I doubt I'd blog b/c I am slack with blogging. But I think you are a very nice person....some people who pick up nuts are NUTS!