Saturday, July 7, 2007

To Complain or Not to Complain

Monday night our FHE lesson was on not complaining. I gave the lesson and I thought this was a topic that we really needed to discuss in our family. I just really feel like sometimes we are so busy complaining that we don't notice the good all around us. I have been wanting to do this lesson for a long time and I had even ordered bracelets to help remind us not to complain. The lesson went really well. We decided that our family was a team and that we would help our teammates remember all the good things around us when we start to complain. When I start to complain Chickie is going to point out a beautiful plant for me to look at (her idea). And the game was a total hit! The CTR shield was to represent our positive thoughts and our beanbags were the evil complaints. I was so happy the evening couldn't have gone any better. And then we woke up Tuesday morning and the complaints came rolling in. But this time the normal complaining put me in a very sour mood. I was so dissapointed. And not only were they complaining--but it turns out the one thing we didn't discuss was what exactly was the definition of complain. OK, so that says to express grief, pain, or discontent. Well, Chris was commenting on the ugliness of some dude on TV. I felt that was complaining. He said, "That's not complaining that's just a fact!" Which is funny, but if we can't bring about any changes is there really any use in even bringing up the negative thought in the first place. Right? So, the week rolls on. I try REALLY hard to not complain. I keep it in until it ends up burping out in front of our friends, instead of at home where we should be discussing personal complaints. sorry chris! Needless to say there must be some sort of healthy line to draw with complaining. They do serve as a form of evaluating. And Anthony Robbins says, "The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your evaluations." That may not be the exact wording, but the point is that if we don't properly evaluate our situation we can't change it for the better. Chris spent some time working with Brian Jolly last week. He is one of the most positive people I know! I love it! I love when he works with Chris because I hope some of Brian's perspective will rub off. But then we do have some friends that almost make a comedic act out of complaining.

So when is it better just to shut up and when is it better to voice a little whine? Any thoughts? Evaluations? Complaints? :)

Today I'm greatful for a new day!


Anonymous said...

There is this one quote that I really like and I think it goes along with complaining.
I�d rather be an optimist and a fool, than a pessimist and right. I think sometimes in our life we do truly have things to complain about. Like that guy on TV. Nobody likes watching ugly people act! (Joking) But seriously, the fact was Chris thought he was ugly, it was a fact to him. That�s where I think my quote comes in so nicely. I think when you are an optimist you might have things to complain about, but you just don�t. You look at it in a different way. It might make you a little bit of a fool, but I think in the end it will make you happier.

Anonymous said...

P.S. That was Katie who wrote that. I forgot to put my name at the bottom.
Love you Drea!

Anonymous said...

Oops, I guess it's not so anonymous anymore.

andrea said...

That's awesome! I love that quote. We are still working on our not complaining. I don't think any of us have made it one whole day!