Tuesday, July 29, 2008

home

This past week has been total insanity.  My grandma's in the hospital undergoing dialysis, Bentley's cutting four new teeth, Olivia started Kindergarten, Chris went out of town, and I got some odd virus.  I've been leaning very heavily on escapism to get me through.  I read These is my words, only a month late for book club.  I LOVED it so much I was in desperate search of something else to keep me going.  I attempted Chasing Harry Winston, but was really disappointed in the amount of foul language in just the first few pages.  I turned my search for some more good fiction to the internet, and very happily I found more novels by Nancy E Turner, author of These is my words (did I mention that it is SO so good).  I just finished the second novel in the series, Sarah's Quilt.  Loved it!  It was just the fix for not wanting to think about my own mess, as hers are far more adventurous.  Katie asked me the other day if our house was feeling like home yet?  We are all moved in not a box in sight, pictures on the walls, but it doesn't feel like home, mot really.  We still have so many things in storage and are still hoping to sell even in this bad market.  I was sitting out on the porch last night, reading my book and listening to the cicadas, getting bitten all over by some apparently invisible mosquitoes.  It felt like I was in some strange tropical forest, the humidity was so thick.  Is this home?  I don't know.  How do you know when you have found home?   My brother asked how many times we had moved since we've been married. I hadn't really counted in a while.  Turns out its 11.  We have moved 11 times in less than ten years.  It will be 10 years this December and by then we may have moved a dozen times.  I know it seems like it's our thing.  But I really don't want it to be. I want to find home and stick there.  And how do you find home any way?  Is it just the last place you get to before you are sick of moving?  Or is there hope for finding home and feeling so rooted there that no matter what happens you cannot leave it.   Those books have got me thinking about home, could I be like Sarah Agnes Prine, and really love a place?  I married a man with restless feet and that is not helping my situation.
Kindergarten has taken its toll on me, too. Olivia is really enjoying
 it, especially now that she is on week two.  And Bentley and I are enjoying some one on one time together.  It is just such a huge adjustment for me.  Mostly emotionally I think.  I feel like my whole world has just turned topsy turvy.  And I'm feeling very reluctant to dig into all this NEW going on around me.  

So tell me, how do you feel about home.  What makes a place home?

3 comments:

Stacey said...

Hi friend! Just a note of encouragement, Richard got a promotion and so we are moving to Nashville. We listed our house last Friday, and we already have a contract on it. So if you are ready for a new "home" I am sure someone will head your way with a sweet offer. :)

BTW, Gretchen said to tell Chickie she really misses her and thinks her hair is soooo cute.

You know what they say, home is where you hang your heart. Its where you feel safe, comfortable, happy, content.

mindy said...

sounds busy and overwhelming, drea. I hope things feel better & more settled soon.

I have been thinking quite a bit about home lately, too. We had decided a week or so ago that if something didn't turn up very quickly in the job front, we were going to list our house and hopefully sell it and move in with David's parents. We told the kids in the interest of full disclosure, and we all had a good cry about it. I never thought I'd want to make Provo "home," but now that I'm here and have this house and my yard and our pets and kids and our friends, I'm very happy. I think home to me is opportunity. In the nearly two years we have been here, we've hosted probably two dozen parties, which averages out to one a month, though some months there were two or more and some months none. We've had many friends and family members come and stay with us. We've fostered mama cats and their kittens. I love this house, but it's the people who live here and who come here to visit and play that make it home.

I can't believe kindergarten started already. Is it a year round school? I thought mid-August was early, but mid-July is crazy! I'm glad Olivia is enjoying herself.

i love you!

One Happy Family said...

Home for me is just wherever my family is. When we moved from Maryville to here in our "temporary" house it was hard. For one thing the house smelled terrible and I can't stand smells. But I realized it didn't matter. All the silly things that bothered me were meaningless. I was grateful we were all together and happy. For me, home is wherever my family resides be it a smelly house or a shack in the woods. Thankfully I have a lovely smelling home.
All that said, sometimes it is hard to get adjusted. When we moved to Maryville it took me a good 6 mos. to get used to the area. Honestly though, I don't think I ever felt settled there. I know it was part of our plan to be there. Perhaps that feeling for me suggested that it was just a stopping place before we moved elsewhere. You may be empty-nesters before you ever feel settled, who knows. I know it's hard and we all get in a slump sometimes. However, remember to be happy wherever you are. (I'm sure you are after posting this). It's good to get it off your chest.