coming clean and going without a pattern

Does anyone else have a major case for spring cleaning?  I have been organizing everything. Thank goodness.  Some closets were getting dangerous! But it's not only physically cleaning that I feel myself driven to do.  I feel the need to come clean about a few other things.  And since this is just ranting and revealing, I am going to post some pics of the presents I talked about here just for prettiness.  These projects are from this book.  It's nice having a pattern, knowing that you have the materials you need, the steps you need to take, and a pretty picture of what it will look like in the end.  But more on that later.

My last post was a little odd.  If I don't blog for a while I feel the need to prove that I have indeed been doing something. So I list it all.  

And the thought just occurred to me that maybe it's a bad idea to post pictures of other people's children without asking. I usually feel free to talk about anything I've done with Mandee because it's all her fault I'm blogging in the first place. And she has a blog of her own.  So beware friends, if you have a blog you are fair game! Hmmm, is there a blogging ettiquet class out there? If so I need to take it.

Well, at least some of this is about to stop anyway.  One little last post of "look, I promise I've been busy."  And then we can all go on under the assumption that if I'm not posting, it's not because I'm lazy but the exact opposite. 

I think I may be the only person who uses blogging as my own personal "do something" police.  I'm one of those people who really, really loved school. I loved having projects with rules, deadlines, and of course, the almighty grade. 

 I have had issues with being productive in the world ruled by myself.  Until now. Now I have all of you to report to.  I'll admit that it is a little confusing at times. Not really knowing who my audience is. It's mostly friends and family who really don't care about what I'm making.  But I secretly aspire to the likes of other craft blogs.  At the same time, I really like to talk about church and other personal things like ballroom dancing and random antics about my friends looking like cartoon characters.  These subjects may annoy serious artsy craftsy types. So I guess my best bet is just to let myself be my most important audience.  Isn't that always true?  Aren't we the ones who ultimately give ourselves our own grade.  And aren't we probably our own most critical judge?

And while I'm at it I want to come clean about something else that I have hinted about before.  I finally have a serious art goal again that I'm very excited about.  All year I have been working on designing my own fabric line!  It is so fun. I'm really enjoying it. I've been taking it relatively slow, working two hours 6 days a week.  But now I've got what I think are my final drawings and I'm working on color and fretting about doing repeats.  Today I talked to a real live human being from a company that I'm interested in working with.  I wanted to get a clearer idea of what point I need to get my work to in order to send it in for consideration.  That alone made me very exited. At this point I'm ready to work a little more and push just a teensy bit harder.  This means that I probably won't have a lot of evening time left for my little sewing projects for the next little bit. Hence, less reporting, but more working.  

This past week I have been making color wheels out the wa-zoo. If that's even a thing.  It made me feel like I was bettering my paint mixing skills, but at this point I'm really anxious just to dig in deeper regardless of my current skill set. I want to get Adobe Photoshop and a good textile book to go with it.  Neither of which come cheap.  And I'm anti-credit card debt, so I'm considering a yard sale. Last year we cleaned house! So to speak.  But we did have a much better location and all that stuff from our old dance studio.  In retrospect we probably sold things for too cheap.  I keep thinking, maybe I could sell hotdogs, and pincushions, and try to convince my whole neighborhood to do it, too.  But maybe that's a bit much.  I don't want to get distracted by things that seem like they are helping with my goal, but are in reality doing the opposite.  It is difficult not having "the rules" because there are none for this.  It's difficult not having anyone with experience to talk to.  It's a little scary not having a pattern, because when I don't have a pattern things turn out a little iffy.  See here and here.  But I guess when I think about it do things with out a pattern quite often.

But I cannot tell you how exciting it is to have drawings on my desk right now with post it's stuck to them.  I never take my artwork to this level of completion. I finish a painting and there are parts that didn't turn out so well. But my usual reaction would be, "Oh well, at least it's done!"  So it's very exciting to think I am going to work and work and work on these 15 or so drawings until they are perfect. And then after that I'm going to do them again in a few more colors!  In all honesty. I feel like myself again. I love having a big creative goal. I love being a mom and I don't want to ignore my kids. But I need this too. And luckily, there is time for both of these in my life. Just less down time is all.  But it's worth the sacrifice!

hmmm, all this talk about cleaning reminds me of this and this and this. Who was I kidding we all know I love to clean.  (I just happen to equally love making a mess!)  Right now I'm doing a little of both.  That's why unchartered territories are so exciting.  I'm thankful for not having directions, but having a definite path. I'm thankful that this weekend is going to rock, spiritually speaking!